Two rabbits and a hedgehog standing on the roadside. The Hedgehog says I'm too scared to cross cos I'll get splattered! Rabbit one says naaa, all you have to do is walk into the road, wait for a car then when one comes just make sure you are in the centre of the headlights and the car will pass over you without a scratch.
I'm not convinced said hedgehog!!! So rabbit two says I'll show you.
He runs into the road, a car comes and he positions himself in the middle of the headlights. The car passes over him without a scratch. Okay!! says hedgehog, I'll take your word for it and try it myself. Hedgehog walks straight out into the middle of the road and gets SPLATTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rabbit one looks at rabbit two and says BUGGER!!!!!!!!!!!! Trust a Reliant Robin to come along!
Thanks to Tony Colbourne, for that one.
As a senior citizen was driving his Reliant Regal down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Dennis, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M42. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Dennis, "Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!"
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of
the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over.
The Reliant Robin.
A guy driving a Reliant Robin pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Reliant Robin rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Robin!" The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."
The driver of the Reliant Robin says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Robin!" The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator." The driver of the Reliant Robin says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Robin!" The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
The driver of the Reliant Robin says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Robin! Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.
So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Robin, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Robin parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Robin. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.
"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly! The driver of the Robin looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower for that!"
The Speeding ticket.
Bloke doing 75mph down motorway in his old Regal. Gets pulled up by the law. Cop gives him ticket for speeding. Bloke gives it back to cop and says can you make it out for 95 mph. Why says the cop. I'm trying to sell it says the bloke.
Thanks to James Sewell (Telford R.O.C) for that one..
Reliant Robin Jokes:
Q: What do you call a Robin at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.
Q: What do you call a Robin with two exhaust pipes?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: How do you execute a hand brake turn in a Robin?
A: Stick your arm out the window and grab a sign post.
Thanks to J.Frank Webster for those.
Q: Why do Reliant Robins have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm while pushing it!
Thanks to Chris Chamberlain for that one.
Q: Why do you call a Reliant Robin with a football inside it?
A: A whistle.
Thanks to Steven Parker for that one.
So this chap goes into Halfords and says, "I want a new pair of windscreen wipers for my Reliant Robin, please." Bloke behind the counter tips his head on one side and ponders for a minute or so. Finally he says, "OK, it's a deal."
Thanks to Chris Murphy for that.
Q: What do you do if you see a robin doing a wheelspin
Q: What do you do if you see a Robin doing ten miles an hour
A: Wonder how the hell its moving that fast
Thanks to David Scoplin for those.
Q: How do you double the value of a Reliant Robin?
A .Fill the petrol tank!